Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Brick Wall

Ever feel like you're just banging your head against a brick wall?
Come on, be honest.
I feel like this all the time, and I hate it. It's so hard to keep writing when the results are a constant disappointment. I have days, weeks, even months, where I question why I'm doing this if it's going nowhere. Am I really on the path God has for me?
Ever feel that way?
Over at CBA-Ramblings today, Rachelle's talking about needing patience in the publishing industry. I read the comments with great interest. Wanted to smack a few people, truth be told.
I'm NOT a patient person.
I have had to wait for many things in my life, some very personal things that I really, really wanted, but knew there was nothing in my power I could do to get it. I had no choice then but to hand the entire situation over to God.
And guess what?
He came through. Big time.
I know that. I believe it, and I know that I have to trust that if this whole writing thing is really what I'm supposed to be doing, He'll confirm it.
BUT. Yeah.
I'm just not clear on how to get through this middle part, you know? The part where you're doing everything you can to improve, learn and grow, but it feels like you're just treading water. There's that really cool island in the distance, you're close enough to see the palm trees and the people partying it up on the beach, you can even smell the burgers. If you close your eyes you can taste that pina colada. Oh, it's gonna be good.
But you can't quite get there.
So help me out here, folks. What am I doing wrong? Why does this whole patience thing stump me like a calculus exam?
I'm listening...


Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

I might have been one you were tempted to smack. :D

Perspective helps me. Knowing my dad doesn't have long to live and now my mom has a cough that's not clearing...it has a way of throwing life into perspective.

As sick as it might sound, I really do believe time is a gift.

Waiting is only as hard as we make it. As you mentioned, I think it all comes back to how willing we are to trust God with the in between time.

Sometimes I'm stronger than others. Now happens to be a strong time. Ask me in a week and I'll be writing the same questions on my blog. But for now, with peace that God's given, I hope to encourage and not provide a reason to be smacked. :D

Loved your honesty!
~ Wendy

Jen said...

I should start by saying I have in NO way figured this all out BUT this is what I've found to be true in my life - Being sharpened doesn't usually feel good. Many times i think the Lord puts us in those dry places or those "waiting" places so that we have to dig deeper {roots grow in dry ground, right?} he's just conforming you more into his image & giving you the opportunity to depend on him & turn to him with your anxiousness or fears. A characteristic of the Fruit of the Spirit is patience so I'd just keep requesting that the Lord be filling you up so that you can have HIS kind of peace & patience!

Sorry if this is weird coming from a stranger. Thanks for sharing - its comforting to know that someone else is in the same boat with you!


Catherine West said...

Love the comments. It is so true. Usually the longer we are forced to wait for something, the better it is when it finally comes. ALthough I think the key is to realize that it may never come if it's not God's will, and we have to learn to be okay with that.
I am better at some times than others too. I'm just a little antsy at the moment and wish I could speed things up with my writing, but I can't.
Thanks for sharing with me!

Shelley said...

I'm in the same boat as you Catherine. I can have patience for something, but not for others. I think I agree with Jen's post though.

Jen said...

AHH! YL is such a small world sometimes. I love to hear about other people serving in a mission with us {even all the way from Canada or the Bahamas}. AND I LOVE that you & your husband met at Saranac...that's my favorite Young Life property! My husband & I both lead here in Lexington & are absolutely loving learning how to give our lives away more & more over time. We both met Christ through YL in high school (& dated then too) so this ministry definitely has a special place in our hearts.

Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm really glad I happened upon your blog!

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

Back to check if I didn't instigate smacking. :D

Did someone say YL? I found Christ through YL/Windy Gap and did work crew at Saranac.

My husband was also very involved in h.s.

I hope my tone didn't come off as telling, but I'm just thankful to be in a good place now, b/c knowing me, I don't know if it will last and I love that I'm clinging to the Spirit right now. I've been talking to God a lot about surrendering this path to Him.

Glad I feel I too can share honestly here.
~ Wendy

Katie Ganshert said...

Patience is a struggle for me. Always has been, always will be. Just ask my husband.

Anne L.B. said...

Care to smack me?

That comment about patience being how to behave while waiting? I whine and cry, have a little pity party, then come to myself and say, "Okay, Lord, if this is gonna be one of those it's-all-about-the-journey things I guess You're allowed to do that in my life."

Then I hunker down and go back to work until the next pity party.

Nat said...

'Pity Party' I like that phrase :)

I think we all go through it from time to time and sometimes I think we need to reach moments of despair before we figure out what's really important.

I get really frustrated when my ambitions aren't fulfilled or plans fall to pieces but it is just that...MY ambition...in the scheme of things it's not actually that important and maybe it's a wake up I need occasionally to keep my vanity in check ;)

Catherine West said...

I think it's great that we are all so human! I am definitely being stretched (pumelled on some days it feels). I still do stupid things and wish I had the strength not to after the fact, but I forget to ask for the strength before hand, so ultimately it's entirely my fault! I would love to start over and try to really succeed in the weak areas of my life. Thank goodness we have a new day each morning, and God is all about second chances. Second, third, tenth!!!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Thanks for visiting my blog and becoming a Follower. :)

I enjoyed your article. So many of us feel the same way. That middle is a bear.

BTW, I've become a Follower of your site. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Susan :)