Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Cinderella Syndrome

I posted to the ACFW loop today and thought it was worth sharing here.

No, this isn't the title of my new novel, although it's catchy isn't it? All the
talk about the third chapter frustrations and the ensuing discussion struck a
chord in me. I have not posted too often to the loop of late because I have been
battling with discouragement, fear and self-doubt. And I'm tired of it. So here
are a few thoughts I feel led to share with you today, if you'll let me.

Why do we believe everything has to be perfect?

I struggle so much with this. I write and write and some days I feel like I'm
just spinning in circles. There are small victories, but I don't enjoy them
because I'm waiting for the big one. (Read that again).
The day when my agent calls to say that someone, God bless whoever they are,
wants to publish me.
I'm beginning to believe there is something wrong with this picture, yet I find
myself trapped within it.
I have a feeling I am not alone in this, so I'm going to ask. Do you crave
success so much that the desire for it has snuffed out the joy in the journey?
It's an interesting question, and I believe it's one we need to talk to God

I remember when I first started to write. I couldn't wait until I had a moment
to myself. I'd rush to the computer and my fingers would fly across the keys! It
was fun and exciting!
I was also writing a truckload of compost, but I didn't know that. I was
creating, seeing characters come alive on the page and traveling with them
wherever they led. I didn't get whiplash from all the head hopping because I
didn't know what it was.
Now that I'm all grown-up, I have to ask if I haven't lost some of that
childlike glee along the way.

I know we must write well. There are rules, and we should, for the most part,
follow them. But I have been so caught up in the process of writing - the need
to make it perfect - the idea that if I don't write another book in the next
month, I will have no future as a published author because I can't deliver.
That's garbage. I know it. I know I can't write a book in a month, but I know I
can write.
It's the The Cinderella Syndrome.
I think that deep down, I'm afraid that after all the hard work, the facial
scrubs, the trips to the hair salon, the manicures and pedicures and trying on a
bazillion dresses, I'll get to the Ball and it will be too late. I may have five
minutes of complete and utter bliss, but then I'll lose my darn shoe and have to
go home in a pumpkin.

Before you ask me when my next appointment with my shrink is, I'll close. But I
want to say that I've received great encouragement from a lot of you in so many
ways, and I'm grateful. I'm praying that all our hard work and perseverance will
pay off one day, but more than that, I pray we find joy in the journey. If you,
like me, think you've lost it, let's go get it back.
Because after all, we're not doing this for ourselves.
Are we?

1 comment:

Grace Bridges said...

A timely reminder of what's important. I agree wholeheartedly! Well said, indeed.