Wednesday, June 16, 2010
What's the Secret?
This coming Monday, June 21st, 2010, my husband and I will be celebrating twenty-five years of marriage. That's a long time. And with the current divorce rates creeping upward every year, I'd say we have a lot to celebrate. So you may ask, "What's your secret?"
I'll tell you.
We don't have one.
What we do have is this:
* Faith in God - He brought us together and we believe He intends to keep us together. It's been my experience that God never starts anything he doesn't intend to finish.
* Faith in each other. To know without doubt that anything can be said, worked on and then forgotten. And forgiven.
* Laughter. If you can't laugh together then...well...call us. We'll come laugh at you. Er...I mean...with you.
* Tradition. That may seem strange, but I truly believe we are deeply influenced by the traditions instilled in us from childhood, and by the people who raised us. Both of us come from families firmly grounded in faith and a commitment to each other. My husband's parents are celebrating 60 years of marriage this year, so we have a ways to go!
* Love. Stating the obvious I suppose, but there it is. You have to love each other, even when you're mad. Even when it all goes crazy and you think you just can't stand it another minute. Remember that everything looks brighter in the morning. Things may not be perfect, but surely they are worth working on. Love is not something I think I can adequately describe, it just is. It's a look, a smile, a touch...that one thing that makes your heart flip and tells you you'd marry him all over again tomorrow.
* Family. While it was fun when it was just the two of us, we chose to have a family. I'm sure a marriage can be quite satisfying without children, and probably a lot quieter, but I think we have grown closer as husband and wife while learning to parent. We've worked hard at it, and there's something to be said for having raised children who still like you and want to hang out with you at age 17 and 20. At least we think they like us. Most of the time.
* Commitment. At the risk of offending anyone, I would be remiss if I did not include this. When we stood before God and our family and friends 25 years ago, we both realized we were making a vow. One that was not meant to be broken. Marriage is not easy. It's not supposed to be. And I know there are situations when it just doesn't work out. But I think the meaning of those marriage vows has somehow become rather vague and cloudy with the passing of each generation. These days marriage isn't even necessary. It's just that old-fashioned thing your parents did. I think that's sad. But that's the world.
So that's about it. All these years have slipped by in an instant. Every day filled with joy, romance and declarations of undying love...uh...okay, maybe not. Not every day anyway. A lot of days.
And there were days that weren't so easy.
But I'm glad we didn't kill each other along the way.
And yeah, I'm looking forward to the next 25.
Posted by Catherine West at 5:37 AM