I know, I know, I'm shamefully behind on blogging. My brain seems to be experiencing a bit of a meltdown lately. I think I've been overdoing it on the marketing, tracking and general freaking out that goes hand in hand with actually having a book in print. I'm still not sure how Yesterday's Tomorrow is doing. Reviews are trickling in, but continue to be good. Sales figures are kind of hit or miss. I'd like to see some momentum start to build there, but I'm at a loss as to how to keep that going. Apart from taking out a full page ad in the New York Times, I think I've knocked on all the doors I can for now. I suppose as in all things, word of mouth will be a big part of where my book goes from here.
The funny thing is, I still haven't read it. I mean, I don't really need to I guess. I did write the thing.
But I somehow can't bring myself to sit down and read it, cover to cover.
Is this just me or do most authors feel this way?
I've been pretty blown away by the positive feedback that people are giving me. Honestly, some of it is surprising. Readers are seeing things I didn't, picking up on things and feeling things that I could only hope they might. I'm afraid that if I read the book myself, now that all is said and done, I'm going to be disappointed. Or worse, I'll find mistakes and want to throw myself off a cliff.
So I haven't read it.
And now, with another manuscript on my editor's desk and one on my agent's desk, I begin to fret again.
What will they see?
Will they see the story I tried so hard to tell, the one that tugs at the heart and resonates within, long after the last page is turned? Will they see real-life characters that could walk off the page and sweep you off your feet any minute? Or will they see a jumble of words that just don't make any sense, shake their heads and shoot me off an email wondering what I was thinking daring to send them such drivel?
Such are the musings of the maniacal writer with way too much time on her hands.
I read and re-read these manuscripts, wondering...daring to hope, but all to often distraught at what responses might be heading my way in the near future.
I continue to write, distracted of course by Facebook, Twitter and those damnable Amazon rankings...which I have to say can surely be considered an addiction. Some days I have great confidence that I have successfully launched a career that will continue to grow. Other days I crumble at the slightest criticism and God forbid, a bad review, even though it is clear the reviewers intentions were not to give an honest review but rather to poke a finger in the eye of "Christian" fiction.
I wish I could tell you it was getting easier. It's not. But for every bad day there is a good one. And we're off on a long-awaited family vacation next week, which I absolutely cannot wait for!!
So now, faithful friend, for that's what you are if you're still reading this - I have a question for you.
If you have read Yesterday's Tomorrow, would you like to see a sequel?
Happy Monday, bloggers - it's almost over anyway!