Thursday, April 03, 2008

Can I Get Some New Personality Traits Please?

Do you ever get sick of yourself?
Keep doing the same stupid stuff over and over again and end up smacking your forehead in frustration?
No, I don't need a V8.
I do need some self-confidence boosters though.
I know that over the next little while, my agent will begin sending my book out to prospective editors.
While I'd love to sit back, breathe a satisfied sigh and say, "Bring it on!" the truth is, I'm feeling more like the above picture.
A voice inside my head is yelling, "Danger, Will Rogers!"
And I so wish that were not the case.
I've had so many run-ins with rejection in various forms over the years that I'm more than a tad gun shy.
It's hard to put myself out there.
Writing a book and then submitting it for public scrutiny is putting yourself out there in a big way, trust me.
You want to know what rejection is, be a writer.
Even if the miracle happens, and my book does get published, I can guarantee you somebody out there won't like it.
And they'll be more than happy to tell me why.
So how do I deal with this constant battle of never feeling quite good enough? How do I overcome the fear of failure and rejection?
I have to put my trust in God and ignore the voice in my head.
I have to know without doubt that I have been called to this, and hold fast to the promises of God.
I love that saying, "If He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it."
He is Elohim - The Creator - I am His creation, therefore I am worth something to Him.
He is El Roi - The God Who Sees - He knows what lies before me, and He has a plan for my life.
He is El Shaddai - The All Sufficient One - if rejection comes, He will be my comfort.
He is Jehovah-nissi - The Lord My Banner - He believes in me!!
And finally, He is Jehovah-Shalom - The Lord Is Peace.

Without Him on my side, I would be lost.
I'm also so thankful for the cheering section of my family and friends! I couldn't do it without you.
Peace All.


Tracy said...

I appreciate your comments and prayers. I know that you really "get" what I'm feeling right now because you just penned it perfectly.

Delia said...

I'm cheering!

cballan said...

Hey, sister, you overcame the fear when you submitted your life to God. Rejection isn't defeat; it's God placing us where we need to be. . . but we just don't know it yet! Like ending up with Rachelle. . .at least that's how it worked for me.

We can walk into the wilderness together. With chocolate, of course. I'm right there with you!

Robin Johns Grant said...

Thanks for being so honest, Cathy. Sometimes I think I'm the only writer who goes through these things!

Betsy Ann said...

Hear, hear!! And Amen.