Friday, April 25, 2008

Note to Self...

Sometimes life turns into a big snowball, doesn't it? Careening down the mountain at a clip, gathering speed, going faster and faster, getting bigger and bigger ... and you're standing at the bottom of the hill straight in the line of fire, stuck in a snowdrift.
Maybe that's a little dramatic. I'm a writer, what can I say.
It's been one of those weeks for me though. So many things going on. Frustrations with people involved in our
building project are mounting and getting out of control. It's time to say enough, already!
We have a meeting scheduled to try to sort this out. But the worst of it is, it's all unnecessary frustration and it shouldn't
be happening.
Adding to my stress level is the knowledge that my book is hitting an editor's desk next week.
So what? She'll either like it or hate it. I can't do anything but pray for favor.
In the grand scheme of things maybe it isn't such a big deal, except it IS. To me at least.
But I have to remind myself again not to fret.

I'm starting to get the feeling God is trying to tell me something.
I've written more than a few of these "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" blog posts in the last month.
I think I'm supposed to stop, take a deep cleansing breath, and hit the floor on my knees.
God is able to overcome any obstacle that gets in my way.
Only He can stop that snowball from knocking me over.
When I feel like all I can do is tread water, He will tow me in to shore.

At times we have to tread a little longer than we'd like, but it's not because God isn't listening or unaware that
we're out there practically drowning. I think it's because He wants us to recognize that we simply cannot do it on
our own. How long does it take for us to cry out to Him?
Honestly?
For me, longer than it should. I'm still a stubborn sot at times, and I think I can handle this thing called life all on my own.
I can't. And when I try, the outcome is often disastrous.
I've been studying the Psalms these past few months. They are full of praise, lamentations, and great wisdom.
I know that even in this busy time, what I really should be doing is praising God for His blessings.
Isn't it just too easy to complain? Ugh. And then once again I'm kicking myself in the head.
God doesn't want that either.

If God kept a record of sin, who could stand?
Not me.
I'm so glad He doesn't.
I think I have a tendency to create more problems than I actually have. Can anybody relate?
We're building a house! That's a wonderful blessing! I have a book going out to publishers - that's not a problem, that's a
praise! And a miracle if you really want to get specific about it!
So my note to self today is to stop, pray, and thank Him for all He has done in my life.
I pray you will do the same.

2 comments:

cballan said...

Thanks for reminding me that if I'm biting my nails in anxiety, I need to be on my knees in prayer. I'm praying for you.

Robin Johns Grant said...

I know just how you feel, Cathy. I've been going through much the same. Sometimes I get very confused. How can I feel this bad when the things that are making me so busy and stressed are all good. I'm reading an amazing book called The Overload Syndrome that's enlightened me a little. Apparently it's a fairly common modern phenomenon. We can load ourselves up with so many good things that we can't enjoy them. As you said, we can't do it all on our own, good or bad!