Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Shot of Positive Thinking - Straight Up

It's Wednesday and I'm blogging! Aren't you proud of me?
This week has been pretty eventful so far.
I'm happy to report that my latest manuscript has been sent out to a bunch
of editors. Yeah. Of course I'm excited.
Actually, it's more like terrified.
I tell myself I've done this before. No biggie.
Ha.
See, the thing is, I never actually believed I'd be in this position.
I am a writer. I have an agent.
I'm so much further along in this journey than I was even a year ago, that sometimes it doesn't feel real. I know I've done the work, the research, the edits, the re-writes. The re-writes.
Yes. A lot of them.
I actually checked my files the other day and discovered that the first version of the manuscript that is out there now was completed in 2004. Same title, same concept, very different story.
SIX YEARS!
That's a long time. Now don't get me wrong, I have not been working day in and day out on this story for six years. It's not The Grapes Of Wrath or anything...but it proves to me again that writing is a process. Most of us do not plunk down in front of the computer and hammer out a bestseller overnight. I've heard the occasional tale where this has happened, but given what I know to be true about the publishing world, I take it with a grain of salt.
Timing. Perseverance. And a LOT of hard work.
That's what it takes.
If you're not willing to put in the time and effort, you're not going to make it.
If your dream is to become a published author, you must work at it.
All that to say, you should also believe in yourself.
I've struggled in this area for years. Just when I think I'm getting better, I realize I have so much further to go. Case in point, yesterday I see an email from my agent pop up. It's a forward, regarding the manuscript she just sent out the day before.
What was my first thought?
"Oh, great, here we go with the rejections already."
I'm not kidding. That's exactly what I thought before I clicked on that email.
Turns out it wasn't a rejection at all. It was a request for the full manuscript, and a very positive remark about my writing.
So I sat there pondering this event, wanting to kick myself because I should have more faith.
Not only in myself, but in God. Because if I believe He's in control, that He's put me on this journey, then sooner or later good things will come.
I don't know why this is so hard for me. I guess it makes the rejections a little easier because I'm half expecting them, but honestly, I'm really not into this getting down on myself thing.
Maybe I should stand in front of the mirror every morning and give myself a pep talk.
Or a kick in the head.
Do you ever feel like I do?
How do you round that corner to put a positive spin on those negative thoughts? I'll take any and all advice.
Because this is the year I want to win!

3 comments:

Katie Ganshert said...

Cathy, I LOVE your authenticity in this post. Your willingness to be vulnerable. I find myself falling into the negativity trap at least once a day. I'm so thankful God faithfully drags me out of it day after day.

Congrats on the full request. That is AWESOME!

Blessings to you!
Katie

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

Yes, I feel like you. I am very hard on myself. I was just talking to my friend about that yesterday. Buying into the negative junk not only won't help me, it isn't what God wants me to spend time doing.

My remedies:
Dance a lot.
Pray.
Surrender.
Dance more.
Cry a little.
Laugh a ton.
Dance.
Pray.
Let go.

Hope that helps. God often kicks me in the head. ;)
~ Wendy

Patti Lacy said...

Yah-woo! Proud of you. Which manuscript is it? One that I've read???

Patti