January 23rd. Four years ago today, I was sitting in a living room overlooking the South Shore, listening to my daughter having a piano lesson. I was supposed to be taking notes, but my mind was elsewhere.
My heart was heavy.
The past year, 2002, had been one of the hardest years of my life. I was emotionally drained and spiritually exhausted.
Two years prior, I embarked on a search for my birthmother. I found her and we began communicating.
At the end of 2001, I discovered that I had a sister. To cut a long story short, my birthmother did not want me to know this, and I was stuck in an impossible situation. I was torn between wanting to respect my birthmother, and desperately longing to know the sister I had missed out on knowing for the past 36 years of my life. I wanted to do the right thing, yet I didn't know what that was.
After a year of praying and waiting, I finally knew I had to do something. I tried to contact my sister by mail, but the more time that passed, the more despondent I became. I convinced myself she really didn't want to know me.
As we entered into 2003, I was filled with questions and unresolved pain and anger the situation had caused. I still prayed to God, but my prayers were more 'whys', than 'Your will be dones'! I remember clearly one morning hearing the following words:
Let It Go.
But, God....
Oh, yeah. I know, you've been there too.
But when God speaks, we know we're going to be in a heap more trouble if we don't listen.
So I had let it go. Yet deep in my heart that longing remained, and somehow I knew God was still at work in this situation.
When we arrived home that afternoon, it was a Thursday, January 23rd, 2003, I checked my e-mail.
And screamed.
For there in my Inbox sat the first contact from my sister - and it read,
Communication At Last!
Amen and Amen.
Four years later, I still tear up thinking of that moment.
It was a miracle.
God is good.
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