This past Thursday I drove my daughter to the airport. She is working for the summer in Canada, as a camp counselor, and will go straight from there to MacMaster University, in Hamilton, Ontario, in the fall.
It was a tearful day. (For me). Thankfully my husband decided to travel with her because she had FIVE suitcases!! We're also grateful we own a cottage fairly close to the camp, so they could drop a lot of the bags there, and take only what she needs for the summer with them.
I know once we arrive in Canada in July, we'll probably see her once a week on her time off. I don't know what the goodbye in September is going to be like. Honestly, I did think I was ready for this, but seeing all the suitcases and the empty room on Thursday hit me pretty hard. I'm still not quite over it.
I'm used to goodbyes. I spent years traveling on my own to boarding school in England, and had to say goodbye to Mom and Dad many times over those years. I hated it then, and I hate it now. I think part of me just does not want to be separated from the people I love. It's amost like having a part of you wrenched away...and it hurts.
So, I suppose I'm really at a turning point in my life. My son will be doing the same in four years, and then it will be just me and hubby. Then what?
Well, hopefully my writing career may actually be legitimate at that point, and I can spend my days doing what I love...and maybe even get paid for it! But it won't mean I'll miss them any less.
Life will just be different.
For them, it's a good thing. It's what we spent all these years preparing them for, saving for, and praying for.
They will be well equipped in all areas to begin their journey into adulthood.
And I'm sure they'll visit once in a while...when they need money.
It's funny though, through the mad dash of kindergarten, grade school, Brownies, pajama parties, horse shows, school plays, exams, prom, and graduation...I don't think I ever stopped to think what it was all leading up to.
Maybe if I had, I would have hit the Abort Ride button.
But here we are, and here I am, catching my breath and feeling just a little bit lonely.
I was actually doing quite well until I sat down and wrote this...