Turning Point...

This past Thursday I drove my daughter to the airport. She is working for the summer in Canada, as a camp counselor, and will go straight from there to MacMaster University, in Hamilton, Ontario, in the fall.
It was a tearful day. (For me). Thankfully my husband decided to travel with her because she had FIVE suitcases!! We're also grateful we own a cottage fairly close to the camp, so they could drop a lot of the bags there, and take only what she needs for the summer with them.
I know once we arrive in Canada in July, we'll probably see her once a week on her time off. I don't know what the goodbye in September is going to be like. Honestly, I did think I was ready for this, but seeing all the suitcases and the empty room on Thursday hit me pretty hard. I'm still not quite over it.
I'm used to goodbyes. I spent years traveling on my own to boarding school in England, and had to say goodbye to Mom and Dad many times over those years. I hated it then, and I hate it now. I think part of me just does not want to be separated from the people I love. It's amost like having a part of you wrenched away...and it hurts.
So, I suppose I'm really at a turning point in my life. My son will be doing the same in four years, and then it will be just me and hubby. Then what?
Well, hopefully my writing career may actually be legitimate at that point, and I can spend my days doing what I love...and maybe even get paid for it! But it won't mean I'll miss them any less.
Life will just be different.
For them, it's a good thing. It's what we spent all these years preparing them for, saving for, and praying for.
They will be well equipped in all areas to begin their journey into adulthood.
And I'm sure they'll visit once in a while...when they need money.
It's funny though, through the mad dash of kindergarten, grade school, Brownies, pajama parties, horse shows, school plays, exams, prom, and graduation...I don't think I ever stopped to think what it was all leading up to.
Maybe if I had, I would have hit the Abort Ride button.
But here we are, and here I am, catching my breath and feeling just a little bit lonely.
I was actually doing quite well until I sat down and wrote this...
Silly me.

The Graduate!

It's been a busy few weeks around here. Sarah's graduation was wonderful. We're so proud of her, but it's a bittersweet time for us. Next week she'll head off to her summer job in Canada, and then it's off to university in the fall.
Exciting, but scary.
For all of us.
I'm trying to focus on the good, but sayng goodbye is hard.
At least I know we'll see her over the summer. But after that, it's a whole new ballgame.
She'll be fine. So will we.
We didn't come this far just to chicken out, did we?
Life must be lived with determination, boldness, and exuberance.
I know that letting go of those we love is all part of it - letting go and letting God.
He will take care of her.
And I'll be looking forward to Christmas way early this year!!!

Walking Down Memory Lane...

Sometimes things happen that pull you back into a long forgotten moment. Ever had that experience?
In browsing Facebook, yet another online community, I discovered a site dedicated to my old college. There were
even a few friends hanging out there that I was able to reconnect with. Then the pictures started coming...
Whew. Seeing yourself at eighteen or nineteen and suddenly realizing you don't look like that anymore, is to say the least, a shock to the system.
What is it with the memories of youth? Those days feel as though they were yesterday...yet here I sit, one child entering college, the other high school, and I realize I've aged.
How did that happen?
When did that happen?
I don't feel a bit older than I look in those photographs.
Oh, but I'm wiser.
Praise God, so much wiser.
And happier.

I love nostalgia. I admit to being a bit of a pack-rat. I keep everything until my husband starts chucking...
Finding that website prompted me to pull out old photo albums. My smile was wide as I flicked through them.
I'm happy to say that some of the friends I made at college are still part of my life today.
Reminiscing is good for the soul, but there's a lesson here. At least for me.

When I look at my pictures of that time in my life, I see an insecure young woman who attempted to fit in
and find her place by doing things she shouldn't have.
I see a lost soul, not really sure of her identity.
I see me, as I was before Jesus.

What a difference twenty odd (yes, is some ways they have been odd) years can make.
What a difference Jesus can make.
When I think of those early college days, especially as my daughter is about to enter university in the fall, I remember the good times, but I'm also saddened at some of the choices I made. I praise God that my daughter is entering that phase of her life as a much more confident young woman than I ever was. She's strong in her faith, and she knows how to say no.
When I think of where I could have ended up, I have to say thank you, Lord.
You protected me.
Provided for me.
And gave me a new life.

Memories are precious jewels.
Reminders of the past can sometimes sting, but the cause is good.
In order to move ahead, we need to remember how far we've come.
If we know where we've come from, we'll surely have a better understanding of where we're going.