Monday, November 03, 2008

Moving On...

The light at the end of the tunnel glimmers and promises of better things to come.
It's so easy to get caught in that slump of despair and depression, and I admit, I succumb very quickly.
As the years creep stealthily past, it grows easier. Anything can set me off, and a bit of bad news
is all it takes to jump into that murky pit and slodge around in the mire, wringing my hands and crying, "Woe is me!"
Don't you hate that?
I do.
But sometimes it's really hard to find the way out.
Sometimes you need a bunch of friends to tell you you're better than that, you will move on and you will succeed.
Sometimes you need your daughter to send you an email filled with spiritually profound words that make you realize
how far you've veered off the course you spent her whole life teaching her how to navigate.
She got it.
Praise God, she got it!

Do I care that I got another rejection, another slip on the ladder that leads to publication? Of course I do.
BUT it's not going to make me or break me.
It's not going to make me tear my eyes off Jesus.
After all, if I'm doing this for Him, who am I to say when I should get published. And yes, even if it never happens then I will
still be able to say I wrote for Him and He was well pleased.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I will be sad and I will question, but in the darker moments of my despair I am always reminded of Job.
If everything I have is stripped away will I stand and say "Blessed be the Name of the Lord?"
Oh, God have mercy, I surely hope so!

But you know what? The greatest gift of all, something that surpasses all the riches in the world and the most lucrative publishing contract an author could wish for, I already have.
My kids know Jesus.
And that, my friends, is worth more than I can say.
I'm putting my eyes back on the True Treasure, because that's where they need to be.

3 comments:

Valerie Comer said...

Amen.

christa said...

Wow...beautiful and honest.

My children are my navigators when I'm lost in the fog of pity, despair, and/or frustration. They allow me about 2.4 minutes to pity party, then they swoop down around me. Praise God for them.

I know that ache and longing, and I know that platitudes are sometimes not the balm we want or need. Sometimes we just need someone to agree with us that it's just the sucky peach pits.

In my life, I've discovered that God works when the outcome can be attributed to his grace and not anything I've done. That trusting business is HARD work!

jenness said...

Good blog, Cathy. :-) I'm glad Sarah talked some sense into you. And maybe you could give her my email address to have on hand when I get my next rejection? lol Have an absolutely wonderful week!